As the entry title says, I will be kissing my lj blog goodbye... I will be migrating to my multiply account... After the last time somebody told me that they read my blog without me knowing I finally decided to leave my lj account, (which has in fact a better archiving system than multiply) and fix the mess that is my multiply blog account.

The mess I'm referring to is the jumble of entries that my multiply account has, I accidentally double-clicked the copy journal entries feature  of multiply , so now have double entries posted in lj and my multiply...

Sadly, multiply blogs don't have the delete all blog entries feature so I'll have to clean it up first...
lol  I just hope I can get to finish it all in one sitting... hahaha

so anyway... bye bye lj land and hello multi!

The mid-morning sky is crying for me...
It's funny how God really puts one over us, but what's funnier is that we keep on complaining that's it's His fault but in fact we are the ones to blame for it.

3 weeks is a loong way ahead and yet I feel the burden has finally got the best of me. No matter what I do I still insist on committing a mistake, it's as if I was born to commit them, but in fact I am born to commit mistakes and so does everyone else.

But why is it that it hurts so much? Oh right, it's a stupid gesture to ask anyone because as shobe's says, everyone is different how they experience and look at life is different. So then nobody should have any right to say that they feel or know what somebody else feels, because nobody would know what you feel exactly (pardon me if you would say that you didn't say such things, I assumed that that was your reason behind the things you said to me previously)

Nobody deserves hell (the figurative term of hell not the society's perception of it) nobody deserves torment, especially to those who were the one who willingly gave themselves up for something more important. Hell's reserved for those who fail to realize what they have and those who do nothing to get back that important piece of themselves...

I've got nothing more to give, nothing else to provide and everything to lose, but as my previous co-worker said "if  it's the way it is then it's the way it is",

yeah right...

I can't keep this to myself anymore, it's killing me way too fast and way too painfully, but hey, it's what I got... I should live with it... No matter what the outcome is, no matter what pains I would have to endure, I know deep inside that this is my best. I may not be perfect, I may not be mature, I may not be an angel nor a guy who could be with you forever, at least I am true, and I am 100% me.

If everything ends after three weeks, so be it... I won't cry anymore, I wont be hurt anymore, I won't resort to my old ways of licking my wounds and barking at the one who I lost and who has hurt me the most... because I deserved every single moment of it...

If hell was like this everyday, I'm so thankful that in the end of the day He is still there for me, even if I turned my back on Him...

and yet knowing this, I still can't block the pain... and the sky is crying for me again...
All I can do now is just breathe...

sex is just sex

But is it just really? If sex is just sex why then are there a lot of lives broken because of it? Unprepared pregnancies, unwanted children, destroyed homes have plagued modern society with the boom of the so-called "sexual revolution". From the previous concept of sex is just for married couples to today's standard of chastity I then wonder if that phrase should be left alone.

Before I continue, everything I say here is just a matter of my opinion so if anyone would care to comment please feel free, but when you do so keep in mind that I have the right to say because this is my blog, I am not here to persuade but rather discuss this view of sexual intercourse. Though I admit that there may be flaws in the information being provided, so the author is welcoming corrections whatsoever.

With that set aside, I go back to my beginning statement, is sex just sex? In the bible, it was stated in the book of Hebrews 13:4:

Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral

The bible, being that it is the moral anchor of Christian doctrine has clearly stated how man should behave regarding to sex. The idea of keeping the marriage bed pure, had been prevalent not only in Christianity but also to the secular world. The idea of keeping a person pure till their wedding day had charmed those who have access to civilization.

But then again, it should be noted that there are a few of the ancients had no disregard to purity when it comes to sex. There are some ancients who even promote sexual promiscuity as a practice. Therefore, our past has provided us conflicting ideas to the entirety of human sexual relations.

But now the haziness of it all is starting o lift, freedom to do and act in accordance to what our emotions dictate puts things more in a more distorted yet clear path for such thinking... the objectification of sex...

We then return to the concept sex is just sex...

I don't think that it should be thought that way, sex is for two people who do love each other whole-heartedly, the best evidence is marriage. It should belong to only two people exclusively for themselves... no matter what the situation's emotion is you never ever give that away...

But hey.... it's just my opinion so don't go shooting me up for it k?

3 long weeks...

As time slowly stops, I feel as if I am going astray. The way is shut, the way is tight, I cannot see the light in the end of the tunnel. Nobody deserves  this except those who have gone the dark road to destruction.

3 weeks...

To prove myself worthy of earning you back again, three weeks to see if we shall shine through, three long weeks to see if I deserve to finally die after a very long yet bittersweet road to nirvana.

I have but three gasps left, 3 gasps to finally give it up, 3 gasps to finally get back...

Nobody deserves this...
Nobody....
Nobody....


except me...

I felt it course down my spine.... the chill, the feeling of foreboding, something was amiss, I felt it in your texts, I felt the numbness that has finally set itself deep inside your heart. What was once alive and vibrant has finally gone dull and gray...

I never really thought much about it, I knew deep inside it was a sign, something was wrong, terribly wrong, I knew that I would finally get the shock of my life. There was something hiding behind the clouds but I never really got a glimpse of it.  If I knew things were going to be like this, I would've prepared myself. Either to stand my ground and fight or to just bolt to the night.

There it was, the monster that has finally corrupted you. I knew there was something, it was always something, but I found that something out too little to late.

IT has corrupted you, what was once mine was taken away from me, the sad thing is that I let it take you. Though I was never part of the corruption, I was the one who pushed you to falter. My swagger became your crutch, my imperviousness your sling... it's as good as me pulling the trigger of a pistol aimed for my head.

I rained heavily that day, wave after wave of intense emotions swirling, creating something different. A realization, a lesson an epiphany...

Never was I going to lose her again, not to some monster who craves a lot... not for anyone anymore... I was asked to choose between standing up or bolt...

I chose to fight!

soiled as she may be, I will never back down anymore, if push comes to shove, I'll beat the monster to the ground. If it stands up I'll pummel him, if it persists I WILL KILL IT

I'm not going to hold the punches anymore, this is war

With graduation inching closer and closer, I tkae this time to think about the future that lies ahead of me (wow, naks naman ang lalim!)


Unlike some of my classmates who are being pressured by either the people around them or by someone who has authority over them, my case of the "job quest", has been mellow. Though I think I could link this through the fact that I have been looking and I have also been very vocal about the interviews and what not, that I took.

I couldn't also ignore the fact that my "job-quest" is also visible because I ask my father for transportation money to do so.

Even if the situation at home is mellow, I'm feeling the pressure of finishing my "job quest"  is due to my incessant other self, or rather my mind which keeps on shouting " MOVE YA LAZY ASS AND STOP BEING A BURDEN!"

With that said we go to the point where I do a self-assessment as to how I am doing now,
First, the Sta. Mesa gig is off, even though it's not official, I think the Sta. Mesa job offer has gone cold now... or at least will try to contact the American if I'm still part of the team.

Second, I'm considering to go to Business World and apply as a writer there, though I'm not that fully confident that my bus. writing skills is at par, I would like to give it a shot. Though I am still going to mull about it for a few more days.

Third, I'm still waiting for the text from Dawn of Monsoon, I talked to her about my availability and was hoping to work for them last monday. Though she was enthusiastic about it, Monsoon has yet to consider employees as of the moment.

So that's sums up the things that I am considering and mulling over till 31 comes....

Ladies and gentlemen I am now officially 21!

:drumrolls:

lol right, as if my age skipping one year would drastically change the way I live... it'll take more than me aging a year to stop the way I look at life and the way I'm going to live it....!!! haha!!! now how's that for an intro!?

I just got home from my grandma's place, where I tried in vain to fix her dead phone (I found out later that it's because of a faulty line). With Blink 182 blaring "what's my age again" from my laptop speaker, I'm going to try and be deep and meditative (right...)

Anyway, I speak the first-half of my birthday at my cousin's, I delivered a tupperware full of my mom's spaghetti hoping to get my ang-pao, which I got from every uncle/auntie at Legarda. (thank God I'm not going to spend my birthday penniless) I never really got to think much because I was feeling the suns rays and heat even inside the building, I was sweating like a pig, mind you!

Thankfully my cousin Derrick would be fetching his gf from st. scho so I got a free comfy ride home.

so that basically was my day as of now.... mebe I'll be updating later... I still need to get my bloggers feet back on track, as you can see I'm not writing the way I was before...

practice
practice
practice!

ciao!

After 18 weeks (well according to lj) of "blog-blackout" from yours truly. I finally get my balls back and start blogging once again, regardless of whoever reads my entries.

I've been in one heck of an emotional and spiritual roller coaster for the past months, I've been to my lowest point in my spiritual life, a life totally resenting God and a life totally living for my own sake and not His.

and boy, being a rebel sure puts a whole meaning to the term "comeback"

Yeah right :rolls eyes: but still it sure feels good to finally get back into blogging!!!

...that... I would just soooooooooooooo die without NEKO <3


yesh and dats D truth....




































I love neko~

it's fun when everybody's selfish, makes the world a better place...
pero cyempre who am I to say such things kahit ako mismo selfish e...

:silence:

Finally after months of not updating I finally get the time (and the energy ESPECIALLY) to update my blog...

I've been playing RO online with bi ever since it's F2P server was launched last wednesday. Boy, I never realized that I missed playing this cheap-of-crap-2d-MMORPG till I played it again, this time though I wasn't bored as early because I have my bi with me to play RO with.

As expected the F2P has a lot of bugs so things are not that much enjoyable, plus the fact that we are zennyless keeps things both tiring and fun.

Speaking of bi, we'll be having our 4th monthsary this coming 16, so guys who know her multi just drop her a greeting. I won't be posting her number which is easier and faster to do because of a few reasons that I won't mention here hehe...

Anyway, life's been hard the past weeks, finals requirements were due almost a few hours in interval, and the painful part is that the two most tiring requirements are for both our majors.

Anyway, God has been gracious to me, so I'll just keep my message till here and i'll try my best to keep it updated.

till here ciao!

inuxneko much!

I suddenly remembered this incident I had while I was going home from school on one rainy night.

I happened last year 2k6 in one of the -ber months, I couldn't recall which exact date that was but I did remember I was still going the same route as Judy back then.

It was raining hard, me ad Judy were sharing her umbrella, you could just imagine how we looked back then, with me trying to cramp into the space that Judy has left me in her umbrella. Anyway, we were headed to the Jeepney terminal leading to the LRT station.

I was getting drenched from the rain when we caught a jeep headed for the LRT, while we were boarding, being a gentlemen as I was (right) I let Judy go in first, unluckily for me my chivalry act was not rewarded.

Judy forgot to close the umbrella, leaving me drenched by the downpour. I was already clutching at the rails of the jeep trying to go in but Judy wasn't paying attention. She left the Umbrella on for about 10 seconds I think before finally realizing that she forgot me.

By the time I got in the jeep I was soaking through my polo and slacks. She kept on saying sorry and all I was able to do was give her an "angry-because-you-soaked-me-in-the-rain" smile.

By the way, the jeep we were in was nearly full so you could just imagine the lot either giggling, laughing or joking about the spectacle that we gave and they did give us a piece of their amused minds.

By the time I reached the LRT station I had to waddle through ankle high yucky water in my leather shoes which btw had holed soles and more downpour. Oh yeah I was soooo wet that time.

If things weren't any worse the LRT I was going to ride was Air conditioned, so I was half-freezing and half-seething my butt off.

The only thing I was thankful for that night was that I didn't get sick the next day...

and yeah Judy I already did forgive you if ever you were reading this, it's just that it is nice sharing this little escapade of ours to others right?

Hmm... with what happened last night (I wouldn't mention here what) I've decided to make a website dedicated to something...

hehe alam ko parang akong tanga kwento n kwento about that website na nasa utak ko ngayon pero di naman ako naglalaglag, anyway basta I'll just spill it kung ok na siya.

I think madami ang amtutuwa sa idea ko na yun :D

Yes, yes.... UST lost to Arneo big deal!!!! wooop.... bitter no?

Anyway, I woke up yesterday early thinking of going to chuch, but I needed to go to Angkong an Ama so I wasn't able to. Another problem I faced yesterda was that our water was still down!... stupid engine....

I spent the afternoon (and early evening) with nyx at National Sport's Grill, I wasn't able to get the tickets for Araneta with no thanks to the people who I asked for help with.

At NSG, the food was great (and very expensive) but what I really liked about the place is that we could still watch the UST vs. ADMU game. I wished for a Tiger win yesterday but I already assumed that we would lose because the Tiger's form was really bad yesterday.

Nakita ko na talo pa lang sa 2nd quarter e...

Anyway, kudos for the team to reach this far!

Everything would've been perfect but due to unforeseen circumstances the date ended dramatically, but not the drama I had in mind.

Haay.... this week I'll be uber busy, with the thesis and the finals projects due date looming just barely above our heads...

haay... still life is sweet! ^_^

inuxneko

Just got home from RP manila with nyx and mamu. We watched the movie 1408 at the RP cinema and boy that movie rocks! BTW the title of this entry is dedicated to that never ending The Capenters song that keeps on playing (and apparently a subtle nudge to viewers of the start of the whole suspense thing) in the movie.

And yeah, I'm finally updating after a few weeks (months is a better term) of being unavailable in lj (even in my multi blog).

How's life? Well it's kind of tiring especially if you got a lot of people who gives you a job to do. Being a person who's given a lot of responsibility inside and outside of school is such a pain especially if they would keep on pestering you via cp. (cent could you do this, cent go to this place, cent eto pa pala nakalimutan mo)

yeah so you wouldn't wonder why my constant one-liners nowadays is "gusto ko na grumaduate!!!!!"

Anyway, I've also been busy because of a challenge me and neko had. Using a creative tool which is called Talecraft, we use the tarot-lookalike card to get how our story's are to be written, we gave ourselves 1 week to finish what we picked from the deck.

It seems that neko's just about done with hers, while I'm still stuck in the middle of my story. I'll post the first part sometime in the week to both gouste and here (the multi's a none issue as this entry's x-linked) and I'll see how the people take it.

Besides the other non-acad stints and jobs that I'm finishing, I'm also busy with my pokemon crater account (yeah i know just roll your eyes now). To those who don't know about it, it is the online version of pokemon gb games. I've already BI'd two people to play (kuya niel and macky) and I'm still waiting for some other people to join me.

BTW my comp's still busted, it's already reaching the second week and I'm still not given the money to buy parts for the computer... pfft so i'm still using the old standby haay...

That's all for now I guess, I'm thinking that maybe the next entry would be the part1 of the story i'm making so till here ciao!

---
I heart neko

1. I ____ cent.
2. Cent is ____.
3. My first impression of Cent is _____.
4. If I were alone in a room with Cent, I would _____.
5. I think Cent should _____.
6. Cent needs ______.
7. Cent intensely loves ______.
8. I love ______ with Cent.
9. I want to ______ Cent.
10. Someday Cent will ________.
11. Cent reminds me of _______.
12. Without Cent __________.
13. Classic moments with Cent are ________.
14. Cent can be __________.
15. Worst thing about Cent is _________.
16. The Best thing about Cent is _________.
17. I am ________ with Cent
18. One thing I wish for Cent is ___________.
19. I hope Nyx finds _____________.
20. One lesson I hope Cent learns is ___________.


Got this from neko hehe wanna try out kung ano sasbihin ng mgatao hehe

I just recieved an email from mam Timbol that the sports journ magazine prelims deadline was moved to another week, thank God....

Right now, I'm kinda loaded with a lot of stuff, besides the preparation for the Mr. & Ms. Journ prep (yes, kuya ainj ako ulit... amf) I still have to study for the LRT and other papers that we need to pass for our other subjects.

So the moving of the deadline is helpful for me and the others as well.

Anyway I gtg need to do study ^^

I remembered in my first group thesis meeting when one of my group mates mentioned that more according to them (I don't really remember who them refers to) that people would have a tendency to choose their partners that are similar to their parents.

When I said "NO, NO WAY would I choose a partner to be like my mom," that said group mate pounced on it like a lion stalking on its prey.

"Kaya pala Haoson napak bitter mo e," the said group mate told me.

Now I was thinking, where the hell did that come from? Like choosing a mate not like my mom matters on how my so-called "I'm-bitter-so-I-frown-and-I-bite" image that has ingrained itself on my classmates' mind.

So I countered with the "you-don't-know-me-and-my-family" routine and the group mate went on saying about "I'm don't know you, pero basa ko na ang mga tulad mo" oh, kay... logic? Anyway, I'd already shut up about it because I don't want to piss off the other members, with me being the new member and all.

Anyway, why would I want a partner having the characteristics like my mom anyway? I do love her with all my heart because she's my mom, but I'd rather not have a partner that has her characteristics. Who would want a gf who screams at you at the slightest provocation? Or a gf who's extravagant in spending money?

Not wanting your partner to be like your mom doesn't mean that your bitter or anything, it just means that you know the faults and weaknesses of your parents and you still accept them as who they are its just that you wouldn't wish for another one in you life.

Plus what's with all this "Haoson's-bitter-get-away!" mindset? Because I don't smile that often or that I always looks stern (well alright pissed at you) doesn't mean I'm bitter. It's just that its my normal look, and I do get loud especially when I give orders because this is how we are at home, though I know its not an excuse for me and believe me I'm trying to change that. But that doesn't merit that I'm always pissed off, it's just the way I am.

Ask Nyxie and some of the people who know me (in and out of school like Jon & Dez), it's just that I am like that. People have rarely seen me so pissed and angry, yes I'm almost always irritated with people but that's only it. I've grown tired of the usual crude jokes, senseless conversations and the put downs that most people I know are good at.

In simple terms here's how I act: "What I think of you merits how I talk to you," if you don't understand that it means, If I respect you, then I would respect you in how I talk to you, but if I find you irritating then I act irritated. That's it, my actions at school doesn't mean that I'm bitter or anything, if people would get to know me better they'll see that they're prejudice was merely out of speculation.

But heck, did people want to? Go figure...

Final notes:
1. The group mate reminds me so much of my mom... (rolls eyes)
2. I remembered this because my mom was being herself again today

so go figure ^^

It feels so nice when you know someone believes in you even though you yourself has lost all hope in yourself...

you're one of the most gifted writers I met..

Were the words that I heard when me and nyx were talking in her house awhile ago. At that moment the sentence didn't have much impact on me because we were busy talking about other things. It struck me when I was taking a bath (yeah of all places I know) and was trying to reconstruct and plan those "writing" projects I had in mind.

The truth is, I lost all hope that my writing was any good because of the grade I received in my advanced news reporting class. I know,I know, I shouldn't let a small thing as a stupid grade to get me down but it did.

I'm not blaming my prof with the grade he has given me though, I did make elementary mistakes and I did overlook some of the basic rules in writing news. I think it was my ego that really hurt when I got the paper, I was so confident, so sure that the article I did was good and all, but in fact it turned out to be such a fiasco. But sometimes it also warms the heart that people (at least some of them) also believe in you and the skills that God gave you.

I'm not getting my head all blown up because nyxie praised me, oh no no no that's the least I would want to happen. Its just that it gave me the drive to push on with the writing projects I had in mind.

that's just about it i guess...

i :heart: neko, thank you so much talaga ^_^